Reality
by Donna Lynn
Summary: Alec has been having disturbing dreams about Max and doesn't know what to make of them.
1. Chapter 1

Reality

Author: Donna Lynn

E-mail: dpierce99@hotmail.com

Status: Complete 

Category: Drama/Angst 

Spoilers/Rumors: "Pollo Loco" and anything after "Designate This" the season 2 premier

Season: 2

Rating: PG-13

Content Warning: This story contains language etc...

Summary: Alec feels he loosing his grip with reality.

Author's Note: I wanted to write something where Alec has a deep fear of becoming his twin, Ben. I think the first person he would run to if he did would be Max, but I caused a slight problem where it's Max that is making him go crazy literally so he has difficulty talking to her about. They end up fighting and it gets intense so please read and give your opinion. 

Pairing: Max/Alec

Disclaimer: The characters of "Dark Angel" do not belong to me. So DO NOT sue me!

Chapter 1

Part I

Alec walked into the Crash with a determined look. Like he was on a mission he could not fail or face punishment. He scanned the crowd until his gaze fell upon Max. He watched her for what seemed like minutes. Slowly, he made his way to the table she, Original Cindy and Sketchy were gathered at. It was as if he were walking in slow motion. He could here sounds but they were all slurred. 

When he was just about to the table Max looked up and actually smiled at him. He did not stop or slow down his decent to her. Once he reached Max her smile faded to a face of concern. "Alec?" she asked in concern. 

He stared at her with the same determined look. Suddenly, he reached out and clamped his right hand around her throat. He pulled her out of the booth and through her against a pool table. He was choking her as hard as he could when he noticed she wasn't trying to pull away or fight him. He didn't seem to care either. 

A smile spread across his handsome features slowly as Max slumped against the pool table. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she fell to the floor with a thud. Alec looked down at her dead body with satisfaction. 

Alec gasped and sat up in his makeshift bed. He took deep breaths as he wiped the sweat from his forehead and face. He pushed the sheet away and stood from the floor. He walked into what his landlord called a bathroom and turned the water on in the sink. He let the cold water run over his hands a moment then filled them with water and splashed his face several times. He looked into 

the mirror in front of him and for a split second saw someone else...his brother...Ben. 

Alec reared back and punched the mirror and broke it into pieces. Glass landed in the sink cutting his other hand as well. He leaned on the sink not even concerned or feeling the cuts on his hands. 

He had been having the same dream about Max for two weeks now. He would walk into the Crash watch her for a moment then walk up to her and choke her to death. At first he told himself they were just dreams and nothing more than his sub-conscience trying to work out his frustration about her. 

A week had gone by and he was still dreaming the same dream. He began to worry at that point. What worried him so much were the feelings he was having from the dream. He liked watching her die. He liked the frightened expression on her face. On his solo missions or assassinations as Max called them he never enjoyed the kill. It was a duty he had to fulfill. He never recalled one time ever liking it or disliking it. He was always emotionless. 

This was something Alec had been afraid of ever since he was in psy-ops at Manticore for six months. They had determined it was nothing genetic, but that didn't exactly make him feel better. Ever since he left psy-ops that was his one fear. That he would turn into his twin X5-493 a psycho who put his own barcode on people chased them down and killed them. 

He pushed himself away from the sink and headed back to his pad on the floor. He laid back down and stared up at the ceiling. He had been avoiding Max to a certain extent for a few days and thankfully she hadn't asked or gotten suspicious about his behavior. It didn't surprise him in the least that she didn't care. He knew she found him a nuisance most of the time. He was always around at the wrong time and screwing things up. Plus, she named him Alec for 'smart-alec'. 

When he had first met Max he found her to be stubborn. One of the first things she did was kick him in the stomach. It really wasn't his kind of foreplay so he played along with her. He never understood why he let her get away with everything. The next night he went to her cell and she wasn't there. The first thing he should have done was call the guard. For some reason he just sat on her bunk and waited for her to return. Then he helped her escape. Well, he couldn't really count that. He was supposed to let her escape so she could infect Logan with the virus then he was supposed to recover her and bring her back to Manticore. 

Everything changed after she left Manticore. While her escape was planned she ended up fooling them and destroying them instead of Logan. Alec hadn't believed her when she said there wouldn't be a home to go back to. He left without a second thought about it. Until he reached the facility. He topped the hill and saw the building in flames and all its occupants running away. He watched the scene for a few minutes then left. 

That night his life changed forever. He didn't know whether to thank or hate Max for what she did. Max had been out in the world since she was about nine or ten. Manticore was all he knew. Now he had to learn how to live again. More importantly he had to learn how the world really worked. 

Part II

Alec walked into Jam Pony looking tired. After he had his dream about Max last night he couldn't go back to sleep. He decided to stay up and do some exercises. He looked around to see if he could find Max, but didn't see her. He continued on to his locker and that is where she was waiting for him. He stopped slightly in his tracks. 

Max noticed him and stood, "You're late."

Alec walked past her to his locker and opened it without saying a word. She turned around to face him and said, "Normal wants us to run sector five today."

He nodded and continued to pack his stuff. Max looked at him carefully a little perturbed that he hadn't said anything self-centered or insulting. She looked at him and thought he looked tired. His clothes and hair were still neat, but none the less he looked like he hadn't been getting any sleep. She noticed his behavior about a week ago. It seemed he was actually trying to avoid her. 

At first she didn't mind. She liked the fact he was staying away. That was what she wanted...right? After a couple of days it began to bother her. He wouldn't talk to her unless it was necessary. She hated to admit it but she was worried. 

"You ready?" he asked bringing her out of her revere. 

"Yea, " she looked at him a minute and couldn't stop what came out next, "You ok?" she asked grabbing her backpack. 

"I'm cool, " he said putting his backpack and gloves on. "Let's go, " he said walking past her. 

She watched him walk away with a worried look. 

Part III

'I can't do this. I can't be around her all the time when I dream about killing her. We only have one delivery left then I'm gonna beat.' He thought. 

"You got the address to this last one?" she asked coming to a stop on her bike. 

He stopped next to her and pulled the address out of his pocket. "It's down a few blocks. Look uh, why don't I take this and you can head on back, " he said. 'Please don't be stubborn just this once and go the hell on'

"Oh no God forbid you have to deliver a package all by your little lonesome, " she said playfully. 

"Max I can handle it go on, " he said a bit harsh. 

This caught her attention and she stared at him for a moment. He could feel her eyes on him and he couldn't stop himself, "What!" he yelled. 

"What is your deal Alec?" she asked forcefully. 

"My problem is you Max...I'm trying to live a normal life here and every five minutes you're busting my ass about this and that and I'm getting tired of you blaming me for yours and Logan's problems. Granted I cost you the money, but it's not like I planned it. I'm real sure I woke up that day and said 'hey why don't I make an alliance with White so I can ruin Max's life', " he vented. 

Instantly, he felt like shit. 

She didn't say anything just stared at him. For a split second he thought he saw a hurt expression. He hated to admit it but it felt good to get that out in the open. He was getting tired of her little rude comments. 

"Fine, " she said plainly and handed him the package. He took it regrettably and watched her ride away. 

"Great Alec...just fricken great, " he muttered to himself.


	2. Chapter 2

"He did what?" Original Cindy asked shocked. 

"He basically let all his problems out at one time and guess what? There all my fault, " Max said loudly. 

"You are a little hard on the boy, " Original Cindy muttered under breath. But Max heard her loud and clear. 

"Excuse me, " Max said in an icy tone. 

Original Cindy turned and put her hands on her hips, "I said you hard on the boy. Granted he screws up a lot but its called learnin out in the real world Max. You need to cut him some slack."

"I can't believe I'm hearing this from you of all people. He screwed up any chance me and Logan had to get a cure for this virus, " Max argued. 

"Let me play the devil's advocate here. It's not like he did it on purpose Max. He done what any of us would've done, live. You can't tell me you wouldn't do the same thing, " Original Cindy spit back. 

"Oh please Cindy don't be fooled by his act. That's all it is an act, " Max said angry. 

"Did he not pay Logan back the money?" Original Cindy asked in a conversational tone. 

Max thought about it a moment and he did. "Yea so what! It was only because he knew I would kick his ass if he didn't, " Max said disgusted. Original Cindy shook her head and started to walk away. "Oh that's it you're just gonna walk away!" Max asked beyond upset. 

Original Cindy turned and put her hands up, "Why are you so afraid to help him Max!" Is it because of your brother Ben. Is it cause he look so much like him and you runnin from your past too?"

"How dare you, " Max said with rage in her eyes. 

"That's it ain't it?" Original Cindy said knowing she was pushing Max's buttons. She knew it was probably a very bad idea to piss Max off, but it was the only way she could get her to realize what she was doing. 

"Don't you ever compare Ben and Alec ever again!" Max yelled at the top of her lungs. "Alec is nothing like Ben used to be he is pure Manticore!"

Original Cindy looked up at her with anger in her eyes and this surprised Max. "Don't ever let me hear you say that again. You are from Manticore and you are compassionate Max you care about other people's well being. You escaped when you were a kid when you were still developing who you are. Alec didn't get the chance you did. Other people a long time ago set his ways. Now he's out here where things are different and he's tryin to adjust the best he can and you ain't helpin by bitchin at him about talkin the wrong way, " Original Cindy laid all on the line for Max. 

"I tried to help Ben and look where it got him! I had to kill him…I had to kill him!" Max was crying by the time she finished. "What am I supposed to do? I don't know what to do." She fell to her knees and began to cry harder.

Original Cindy kneeled down beside her and brought her into a hug. "The boy is cryin out for you Max. Somethin's botherin him and you the only one, who can help him. In the process you can help yourself, " Original Cindy said softly. 

"I don't want to loose him like I did Ben, " Max muttered. 

"I know, you both been puttin up a front with each other. You been puttin one up so you won't get close to him like you and Ben was. He puttin one up because he's scared to let you in and see him for who he really is. Niether one of you can fool Original Cindy, " Original Cindy said confidently. 

Max pulled away from her and wiped her tears away. "Thanks, " she said smiling. 

Original Cindy leaned in and kissed her on the forehead, "Anytime girl."

I know Alec wasn't in this chapter but he'll be in the rest don't worry. Tell what you think is it good???? 


	3. Chapter 3

Max didn't know what she was doing here. Earlier she left in a rush from her apartment to get some fresh air and she ended up at Alec's place. The closer she got to his place the more she thought it wasn't such a good idea. She stood on the outside of his building and thought one last time what she was going to say. 

"Come on Max just do this, " she said to herself as she headed into the building. 

"Alright Max, what are you going to say? Don't be to passive, but don't be too picky either…" she rambled to herself as she walked up the stairs to his apartment. "…let him talk first then you can throw your two cents worth…" she gasped when she ran into a hard body. She looked up to see Alec staring down at her. 

"What are you doing here?" he asked bluntly. 

All she thought up to say left her mind as she met his eyes. "I just wanted to talk, " she said. 

"Get out, " he turned around and walked back to his apartment. 

She wanted to run after him, but her feet stayed in place. She could tell he was still pissed from earlier that morning. Hell, could you blame him. She blew up in his face when she knew something wasn't right. Out of all the times she was hard on him. 

Suddenly, she stormed to his door and kicked it open. He turned to see her standing in the doorway with a look of fury on her face. 

He looked at her wide-eyed, "What the hell do you think you're doing!" 

"You're going to listen to what I have to say, " she said stepping into his apartment. 

"You think you can do anything you want don't you?" he asked disgusted. 

"If you would shut up a minute and listen to me!" she yelled. 

"Me talking has never stopped you before, " he said. 

She threw her hands up and screamed, "Aaaaahhhh! Why do you have to be so damn stubborn Alec?"

The action surprised him to say the least. Usually, she was so reserved even in her fits of rage towards people…specifically him. 

"I'm not the only one who's stubborn here, " he said pointing to his door on the floor. 

"Shut up!" She yelled. 

"No! I live here if I want to yell at the top of my lungs I will!" he yelled in her face. 

"What's got you so bothered Alec, " she said agitated. 

"I told you what my problem is Max it's you. Every day all day I see you. I see you at work I see you at Crash I see you at Joshua's hell I see you in my dreams, " he didn't realize the last part of his sentence until Max's face retorted to one of wonder. 

"What's going on Alec?" she asked in a normal tone of voice. 

Alec sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "I feel like I'm going crazy…just like Ben, " he said quietly. It shocked Max when he said Ben's name. He always referred to Ben as 493 or his twin. 

"Talk to me Alec. Let me try to help, " she said softly. She fixed her gaze on him as he sat down on his couch and looked at the floor. She walked to the couch and sat by him at a safe distance so he wouldn't feel crowded. When he didn't speak she rubbed her hands on her legs and leaned forward on them. 

"Things were so much simpler at Manticore, " he said. 

Max stiffened, "Ben used to say that, but…he never wanted to go back. He was afraid they would stick him in the basement with the nomalies." She glanced at Alec and saw the conflict on his face. She didn't know if he wanted to yell or cry. "Tell me about the dreams Alec, " she said quietly. 

He hesitated, "I dream that I walk into Crash and I'm looking for you. I find you but I don't walk to you right off I just stare. Then like in slow motion I start towards you. I get to you and you smile up at me then…I reach out a pull you away by your throat and start to choke you. I kill you every time and…I enjoy it."

"You know dreams are a way to get frustrations out. We do fight a lot and that's just your way of getting it out, " she explained softly. 

"I feel like I'm loosing my grip Max, " he turned to stare at her. "I'm scared…I don't want to turn out like my brother. I'm scared my dream will turn out true. Back at Manticore they told me it wasn't genetic, but…it's always there…reminding me it could be anybody."

Max turned on the couch to face Alec, "Alec listen to me you listen to me. You are not going crazy ok. It's called adjusting. Your whole life changed in a second. You feel like you're going crazy because life outside Manticore is tough, hard but we have to do it. And you don't have to do it alone."

"I don't want to hurt you Max, " he said breaking down. 

The action surprised her and she didn't know what to do. Hesitantly, she pulled him into her arms and comforted him as he cried in her arms. 


	4. Chapter 4

Alec walked into Jam Pony feeling better than he had in two weeks. His breakdown in front of Max did more good than he thought it would. What was happening to him was all new. The feelings he experienced were too much that he overloaded. All that afternoon he was in anguish. He felt guilty about blaming her for all his problems. He hadn't expected her to come by and when she did he didn't' know how to react. So, he did what any X5 in a tight spot would do…he panicked. Halfway through their argument he realized that she was the only one who could help him. She was his savior in more ways than one. 

He walked to his locker and once again found Max sitting on the bench waiting for him. "You know stalking is a big turn on for guys, " he said with a cocky grin. 

Max smiled. He was back to his usual self-centered arrogant self. "Glad to see you're feeling better, " she observed. 

He nodded and walked to his locker next to her. He opened it and started to put things in his backpack. Last night he'd fallen asleep in her lap and when he woke up she was asleep against the couch. For the longest time he just watched her in a peaceful slumber. He didn't have the heart to wake her so he was just going to leave her there until she woke and caught him watching her. They had an awkward moment then she decided to leave and let him sort things out, but she would be there if he needed her. She left but he didn't sleep, but this time it wasn't the dream that kept him sleepless it was the peace of mind he had. 

"What sector are we running today?" he asked offhandedly. 

Max stood from the bench and leaned against the locker, "Sector nine why?"

He knew what sector they had he just wanted to make conversation. When he started having the 'kill Max' dreams he'd kept up with her runs so he could stay as far away as possible. Ironically, today they had the same sector. Was that coincidence or what? "That's funny, " he spoke before he realized. 

"What?" she asked curiously. 

He looked over to her and everything seemed to come into focus. The reason for his dreams. Alec thought about it and it was as if Ben was talking through him. It all fit he thought. He looks exactly like Ben. Max was the only X5 he knows outside Manticore. The way his dreams worked were like how Ben killed. As Alec thought about it he would look for Max, stalk her like prey then move in for the kill. It was as if Ben was telling him Max could understand his inner turmoil he was having. 

"Hey, you okay?" Max asked concerned. 

Alec had been staring at her as he thought. "Yeah, sorry…I was just thinking, " he said breaking his eyes away from her. 

"You seemed to zone out there for a sec, " she relaxed. 

He shrugged, "I'm good, you ready to ride?"

"Hello, this isn't a lounge people lets get to work pip pip, " Normal yelled to Max and Alec from the front counter. 

Max turned around irritated, "Chill out Normal we're on our way out Jeez!"

Alec watched as she made her way out with him falling behind her. Things were starting to look up for Alec. He knew where to turn to if he feared his sanity anymore. To someone who more insane than he was he thought with a smile on his way out as Max hollered for him to hurry up. 

THE END

This sucked I think. I couldn't think of another way to end this story to save my life. This sort of wrote itself so…give it to me.


End file.
